Common causes of family dysfunction

A dysfunctional family is one that has problematic interactions that the family is attempting to ignore or mask. Each family member ends up playing an active role in continuing the dysfunction. If unchecked, these patterns can impact the children negatively in the family throughout their lives, including a possibility of one day having their own dysfunctional families.

According to Barbados Children Directory, an empowerment and resource guide for parents, Family dysfunction can be any condition that interferes with the healthy functioning of the family. The guide notes that; almost every family has a period of time when the functioning of the family is impaired by stressful circumstances, but dysfunctional families tend to have chronic problems and the needs of the children in the family are not met and in many cases it leads to child abuse including child neglect and abandonment.

Barbados Children Directory singles out types of dysfunction in families, like some parents under function, leaving their children to fend for themselves. Some parents over-function, never allowing their children to grow up and be on their own. Other types of dysfunction are seen when there is consistent inappropriate behaviour such as domestic violence and substance abuse in the family setting.
Let us examine some of the common causes of dysfunction in families and you would see that although each situation is different, they all lead to abuse of children and in many cases robbing children of their childhood.

A dysfunctional family is one that has problematic interactions that the family is attempting to ignore or mask. Each family member ends up playing an active role in continuing the dysfunction.

Deficient Parents hurt their children more by omission than by commission. Frequently, chronic mental illness or a disabling physical illness contributes to parental inadequacy. Children tend to take on adult responsibilities from a young age in these families.
Parental emotional needs tend to take precedence, and children are often asked to be their parents; caretakers. Children are robbed of their own childhood, and they learn to ignore their own needs and feelings.
Because these children are simply unable to play an adult role and take care of their parents, they often feel inadequate and guilty. These feelings continue into adulthood.
Controlling Parents Unlike the deficient parents, controlling parents fail to allow their children to assume responsibilities appropriate for their age. These parents continue dominating and making decisions for their children well beyond the age at which this is necessary.
Controlling parents are often driven by a fear of becoming unnecessary to their children. This fear leaves them feeling betrayed and abandoned when their children become independent. On the other hand, these children frequently feel resentful, inadequate, and powerless.
Transitions into adult roles are quite difficult, as these adults frequently have difficulties making decisions independent from their parents. When they act independently these adults feel very guilty, as if growing up were a serious act of disloyalty.
Alcoholic Parents/ Drug abuse Families battling with parents or a parent who abuse alcohol or other drugs, tend to be chaotic and unpredictable. Rules that apply one day do not apply the next. Promises are neither kept nor remembered. Expectations vary from one day to the next.
Parents may be strict at times and indifferent at others. Continued to February 2024 Issue

Complied by Rev. Francis Osire